Reflections in Puddles

Like many others, I’m spending time reflecting on my life this past year. In fact, that was what I was pondering as I took my morning walk yesterday. It was a walk that had me dancing through the puddles since we just had two days of rain. 

At first I didn’t pay much attention to them. And then, one of them caught my eye. I saw the reflection of the trees within them and was mesmerized. I ran to the next one and then next, marveling at what I saw reflected in the puddles.

I grabbed my phone and started snapping pictures. Shifting back and forth to get the right shot. After my first few photos, I started to realize that reflections can be tricky. They aren’t always what they seem to be. They can be distorted, skewed and often only show part of the picture.

This made me think about my own reflection practices; especially when I come across something that I consider as non-important or negative. Do I stop to look at things from multiple perspectives? Do I ask if that’s the whole picture? Do I stop to consider if my view is skewed or distorted at all? 

Here’s a recent example from my year-end reflections – my cancer journey this year. While a highlight was finishing my treatments in September and ringing that damn bell, I had getting cancer listed as a low for this year. But, is that true? Is it really a low? Or…..

Is there another perspective I should consider?

Getting cancer is not something I would recommend for anyone. It’s not something that I’ll hold up and celebrate. BUT, as I thought about it, I realized that a lot of good came out of it.  

• I learned to honor my body and truly listen to it for cues on when to slow down. A question I often ask myself now is “What do you need?”
• I felt so much love for myself this year – body, mind and spirit – more than I have ever felt before. 
• I opened up and allowed myself to receive love this year. I’ve often held myself at a distance from others to avoid getting hurt. But this year? I felt the facade crack open and felt the love pour in from friends, family and even strangers. 

So, while I’m not excited about the fact that I got cancer, I learned many lessons and gained so many new insights. And that is something I’ll celebrate. 

Is that the whole story? Is it really true? 

Yes, my cancer diagnosis and treatment did take a lot of my time this year AND it wasn’t the ONLY thing that happened this year. While I didn’t accomplish as much as I wanted to from my to-do list, I accomplished things that I didn’t even know were possible for me. 

• I pivoted my business in a direction that I never (even in my wildest dreams) would have ever imagined. I didn’t even know that forest bathing was a thing until this year!
• I got curious about the healing powers of nature, got certified as a forest bathing guide and used what I learned as part of my healing journey.. 
• I found a love for myself that I thought was out of my reach. It all started when I was cracked open upon hearing my cancer diagnosis and continued throughout the year as I went on a self-discovery journey. 

It would be easy for me to look at this year and go “I didn’t accomplish much” because I was spending time at doctor’s appointments or in recovery. And yet, as I look back, I accomplish so much more than I thought was possible. 

Is my view skewed? If I take a step back, do I see a different picture? 

Yes, my view was definitely skewed when I first started going through my review of this year. But, as I got more information about this year, I started to realize how much good came out of this year and this diagnosis. A lot of this came about by reviewing other information sources to help me see if my view was skewed at all. 

• I spent time reviewing pictures from this year and found so many from the time I got my diagnosis to when I completed treatment that were full of love and joy. From ALL the pictures of my time on the trail after radiation treatments, to the pictures of me wearing a tiara to my treatments to the picture of my lumpectomy bandage that told me when to remove it and included a heart on it. 
• I reviewed my calendar to see what appointments I had other than doctor’s appointments. I found lunch dates and coffee chats with old friends and appointments with my mind-body specialist where I learned SO much about myself and techniques for mental fitness that I can use throughout my life. I even found my acupuncture appointments that I used as part of my treatment. I’ve been wanting to try acupuncture for years and well, now I can say I’ve tried it and I’m a fan!
• I went back through my journals. I do morning pages and I kept a journal through my cancer journey. I went through both and could see such a massive shift in the language I used with myself, how I viewed myself AND how I viewed the world. I no longer talk to myself the way I used to. For example, I don’t berate myself for making a mistake. I see myself and the world through a lens of love and magic now. And that’s 100% new for me.

While there is much about this year that I wouldn’t want to repeat or wish on anyone, I’m so proud of how I approached my treatment, the love I allowed myself to receive – from myself and others and the fact that I found so much joy in my journey. 

My invitation for you

Whenever you take time to reflect, consider taking a second look at those things you consider non-important or mistakes. You might ask yourself:

• 🔎 Is this the whole story?
• 🪞 Is there another perspective I should consider? 
• 🤔 Is it true? 

I encourage you to explore the entirety of your experiences. The highs, the lows and the seemingly ordinary moments each hold significance. And who knows….your reflections might just reveal unexpected treasures.